I've been in a haze since Sunday. I hate "riding a low" (as I've come to call it) because I feel miserable about being miserable. I know there's really not a whole lot I can do about how I feel, that doesn't stop me from not accepting it.
I will at least feel good, after, knowing that I made myself do things, rather than just lie in bed like I want to. I MADE myself do laundry, I MADE myself clean up my room, MADE myself eat, and (ewww) take a shower, becuase if not, after things start to normal out, I'll just feel bad about NOT doing those things.
I didn't want to get up and meet up with Melissia on my way to New York this morning. I didn't want to spend the day with her after I was done with my meeting at work. But I made myself stick to my promise, and I'm starting to feel a bit better. I don't feel like breaking down and crying so much, and being around another human definitely feels good.
For some reason I seem to need a reminder every now and again, not to be so hard on myself. A reminder that its ok to feel things. Not in a "I am a robot I have no emotions" sort of way, but that its ALRIGHT if I'm NOT perfect. I think "Mammafriend" once said to me, "you like a person for their similarities....you love a person for their imperfections"....or something along those lines. I think I need to start "loving" my own imperfections more.
Imperfection 1...Manic Depression. (This is NOT the end of the world!)
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