Lines

My mom called me from the beach down in Ocean City Maryland yesterday morning. It's become a little family tradition when you're on the beach, you call everyone else and tell them how nice it is. :D

We chatted for a bit, the weather is apparently beautiful, the water is warmer than she's used to, and the beach is shorter. Eventually we started talking about other stuff, namely my younger sister. HOLY COW she just started her SECOND year in COLLEGE!!!!! (YIPE) New roommates, new classes (she's kind of changing her major, sort of...maybe..a little[lol]) And by the end of the conversation I couldn't fight the tears. After I hung up the damn burst. I miss my sisters. Things are not well between us now, and I still feel like they don't want to fix things. But I did not dwell on this. Laundry to do (as always) and things to get ready for.

Later on boyfriend came over, and we played more Alien Syndrome (we're still hooked) As the night wore on he kept poking at what was on my mind. *sigh*...Here's where it gets complicated. They're my Achilles heel I can stone wall anything else in life, but when it comes to them..I'm mush. Ramworship gets very *angry and defensive of me when it comes to this situation. And no matter how often I try to explain that, no matter what comes up in our family, we weren't raised to let it come between our family, he still holds a grudge.

This is not to say that some of the things he is angry over aren't valid. To be quite honest I feel that the situation with my sisters now negates the above statement. That their behavior, and their anger are creating an even bigger rift.

BF: "Sweetie...it's been 4 years. I've seen the really good times, and I've seen really bad times. And while people do have their faults, if those faults are hurting you...you need to keep away from it."

A little out of context, that also had to do with me blaming myself for stuff that wasn't actually my fault. (ie not having all the answers, or controlling how other people act) I still keep hoping that one day I'll be able to find the middle ground between the family that I love, and the man I love. (Am I supposed to do that? Or are they?) All joking aside, I just want EVERYONE to get along again.

BF: "They're not being mature about this, and you're not responsible for their maturity level"
Me: "But they're acting out of hurt, and while I can understand that...I know it's "their way or the highway" whether the things they say are true or not."
BF: "I rest my case"
*sigh* all in all...it's going to take more time, and knowing the relationship I have with Murphy's law, it's going to get worse before it gets better. But, chin up...it's that getting better part that makes it worth while.

(That was concentrated positive effort right there! And a damn fine one at that.)