I will

Never again allow my willingness to forgive people, to take away from how I deserve to be treated.

Qualifies as "asshole"

Saw this on fark today.

For a moment lets just ignore the fact that 15 years ago...you NEVER even heard of allergies to peanuts...but in the last 10 years Peanuts began wreaking havock over the mass populace, tearing apart families, disrupting eco systems, starting wars, and just generally being a poor sport.

Cut the mentality of majorities catering to EXTREME minorities! Seriously, 1 kid in a school is very allergic to a food, so the (on average) 1200 OTHER students have to cater to the one?? Here's a thought to those who have the misfortune of severe allergies........PACK YOUR OWN FUCKING LUNCH AND TAKE IT TO SCHOOL!!!!!!

me minus Caffeine

I've noticed over the last two months, that I would hit these "strange" points in my days. It started off with an actual anxiety attack that I cured with going home early from work and catching up on a few hours of sleep that had been lacking in the days prior. Then the "fluttering" started. I'd find myself at random times of the day steadying myself on my desk and breathing through an odd pounding/skipping sensation of my heart.

Now I suppose any normal person would go running to their GP when something like this happens....but since our dear head case has a deeply rooted aversion to doctors (no real reason...just REALLY don't wanna go) not to mention a track record of staying away from Doctor's care long enough NOT to even really HAVE a GP..... I did a little research and have begun to eliminate caffeine and alcohol from any normal consumption. Which over the last week has effectively quelled said instances....which means I'm scott free....right? I DON'T WANNA GO! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME! We'll see how it plays out.

Thoughts on *honesty*

So I've been without my ritual *helpful sleep drinking* for almost a week and a half.
I've been without a sig-o for..I guess almost 3 weeks. And I'm thinking I should let down the playful sarcasm that I ride daily in my job and personal relationships with co workers and family.....

Except when I "let go" I realize that over the last few weeks, alone, I've felt more like "myself" than I ever have. I spent a really long time missing that optimistic happy-go-lucky-fearless kid my parents used to smile at. She went on an extra long hiatus in high school apparently, and has just decided to reestablish herself. I *grin* ear to ear on sunny days cause it just feels good to be in the sunshine. I laugh at everything, and while I'm still sarcastic, there's a genuine enjoyment underlying everything I feel...

There's a renewed sense of independance, which I LOVE. A feeling of freedom, to be my own person and make decisions that are ONLY going to affect me!

I've seen pics of the ex on Super M's flick'r page, and he looks happy. That's all I could want for him. I realize now that no matter how hard I pretended, tried, denied or ignored, we weren't on the same path....and that's OK!!!! It happens in life.

I've realized this before, there's a part of me that will always love him, and the times we shared. But I really feel that it's overshadowed by how excited I am at what's going to be coming at me next. I've been "testing" myself over the last week/week and a half listening/watching things "we" used to enjoy together, and I've realized I'm not willing to give up my enjoyment of things because "we" broke up. I will continue to love the music/movies/people/life/ I love, and go where next seems enjoyable. :D