Everything in my crowded little head told me I just should have stayed home last night. I was tired, needed to clean, wanted to catch up on my downloaded episodes. (I know..but they're cute!) But you know me and commitments. If I say "I'll be there...", there I am. (with a few exceptions)
I HATE HATE HATE Fado's. It's a shitty bar, with shitty service, and shitty atmosphere...6 bucks for a strong bow! BUT they have quiz-o Wednesday nights. I guess I'm just a sucker for a girls night out that includes quiz-o. So me and the Moore Sorority clan met up and tested our wits. It was a good time, met some interesting new people, and went down in a blaze of rowdy glory. (we came in something like 5th) Hop the trolley back to Mel's then head home...except...oil light?? Oh...there's that burnt hair smell again.
So quick stop at a BP, throw in a quart...*Expletive!* Did I really just drop the oil cover INTO the engine!!!! *Expletive! expletive! expletive!!!* Now all good common sense says you NEVER reach into a hot engine to get ANYTHING. But 12:30 at night, outside a gas station, along the East River Drive, common sense can shut it's cake hole.
Hmm...could that sizzling sound possibly be related to the now really bad pain in my forearm??? Why, yes! It is! Then the oil cap fell even FURTHER into the engine, thankfully just on top of the shelf right under the radiator grill. Sacrificing any remaining dignity, I wriggled underneath the car, and got it out from there. Oh...a stain on my coat...that's nice..thanks. *Sigh*
It's 1 am by the time I get home, and what's that...Oh the dog threw up on the floor...yes this completes things nicely thank you.
Some days...the only thing you can do is laugh.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Religion, or the 45 minute class before lunch in grade school
Simply put...
I think the "idea" of religion is obsolete to me because at this point in time, in the history of man, it works against logic. It no longer works to explain things, it regresses knowledge to a mid-evil stereotype and we're smarter than that!
Faith......on the other hand is a different entity. Faith you cannot create. It's there or it isn't, depending upon subject matter. I really don't think you have a choice as to what you have faith in. Science, fate, god, "reality" or a flying spaghetti monster......if it makes enough sense to you to seem real, you're going to believe in it. It's funny, because a priest once told me that"faith will be your saving grace." He inferred faith in Jesus Christ, sure, but he didn't say faith in JC. And really, isn't that what drives people? Just faith? In a relative way, who is faithless? Everyone believes is something........
I think the "idea" of religion is obsolete to me because at this point in time, in the history of man, it works against logic. It no longer works to explain things, it regresses knowledge to a mid-evil stereotype and we're smarter than that!
Faith......on the other hand is a different entity. Faith you cannot create. It's there or it isn't, depending upon subject matter. I really don't think you have a choice as to what you have faith in. Science, fate, god, "reality" or a flying spaghetti monster......if it makes enough sense to you to seem real, you're going to believe in it. It's funny, because a priest once told me that"faith will be your saving grace." He inferred faith in Jesus Christ, sure, but he didn't say faith in JC. And really, isn't that what drives people? Just faith? In a relative way, who is faithless? Everyone believes is something........
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Ventilation
Ok, so today was not so much the good day. And while a good bit of the latter part of the day was spent being tearful, and dwelling on things, I've since stopped. I thought, at the time, all I ended up with was a bad mood and some bruised knuckles (I miss boxing classes at the gym). But, after a little thought, I am actually over it! HA! :D Positive steps.
I normally like to think that I don't believe in regrets. That, even when things go wrong, at least there is a lesson to be learned. Something very personal started this line of thinking a few years back, but now I have to question, do I regret some of my decisions?
Like leaving home. It still seems like a necessary step in my life, but it also caused some serious rifts to become even more solidified. And now those rifts, which I guess just weren't so obvious before, hurt a good bit. And since I routinely take every event and blame myself for it, whether I'm at fault or not....well..we're back to the not so good a day.
On an interesting note, I've started looking at wedding dresses...which just makes the whole "surreal wedding" less surreal. YIPE!
I normally like to think that I don't believe in regrets. That, even when things go wrong, at least there is a lesson to be learned. Something very personal started this line of thinking a few years back, but now I have to question, do I regret some of my decisions?
Like leaving home. It still seems like a necessary step in my life, but it also caused some serious rifts to become even more solidified. And now those rifts, which I guess just weren't so obvious before, hurt a good bit. And since I routinely take every event and blame myself for it, whether I'm at fault or not....well..we're back to the not so good a day.
On an interesting note, I've started looking at wedding dresses...which just makes the whole "surreal wedding" less surreal. YIPE!
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Monkey Killing
I'm listening to Tool's "Monkey Killing" off of '10,000 Days'. And I'm reminded of the discussion I over heard New Year's Eve concerning the story of 'Ishmael'. Now, while it must first be stated that I have not read the book, I do have a general understanding of the synopsis.
I have no opinions on the story itself (as I haven't read it) but listening to this song something occurred to me. Ishmael is from the perspective of an Ape. A Guerrilla if I'm not mistaken. Species separated by mere chromosomes. The same self righteousness, and judgment can be found in a narrative from a like species. And while both were written by humans, "Monkey Killing" ventures into the abstract. The un-relateable. The unknown. The Observation of "Angels" on humans without judgment. And I suppose that is the significance... The lack of judgment that humans cannot seem to overcome. The comparison of one to another, rather than simple existence.
"Angels on the sideline,
Puzzled and amused.
Why did Father give these humans free will?
Now they're all confused.
Don't these talking monkeys know that
Eden has enough to go around?
Plenty in this holy garden, silly old monkeys,
Wonders when you're bound to divide it
Right in two
Angels on the sideline,
Baffled and confused.
Father blessed them all with reason.
And this is what they choose.
(and this is what they choose)
Monkey killing monkey killing monkey
Over pieces of the ground.
Silly monkeys given thumbs,
They forge a blade,
And brothers wonder
bound to divide it,
Right in two.
Right in two.
Monkey killing monkey killing monkey
Over pieces of the ground.
Silly monkeys give them thumbs,
They make a club
And beat their brother..down.
How they survive so misguided is a mystery.
Repugnant IS THE CREATURE WHO WOULD SQUANDER THE ABILITY TO LIFT AN EYE
TO HEAVEN CONSCIOUS OF THIS FLEETING TIME HERE
Cutting it all right in two (x4)
Fight over the clouds, over wind, over sky
Fight over life, over blood, over prayer, overhead and light
Fight over love, over sun, over another
Fight...
Angels on the sideline again
BEEN SO LONG WITH patience and reason
Angels on the sideline again
Wondering when this tug of war will end
Cutting it all right in two (x3)
Right in two
Right in two... "
-Tool 'Monkey Killing'
I have no opinions on the story itself (as I haven't read it) but listening to this song something occurred to me. Ishmael is from the perspective of an Ape. A Guerrilla if I'm not mistaken. Species separated by mere chromosomes. The same self righteousness, and judgment can be found in a narrative from a like species. And while both were written by humans, "Monkey Killing" ventures into the abstract. The un-relateable. The unknown. The Observation of "Angels" on humans without judgment. And I suppose that is the significance... The lack of judgment that humans cannot seem to overcome. The comparison of one to another, rather than simple existence.
"Angels on the sideline,
Puzzled and amused.
Why did Father give these humans free will?
Now they're all confused.
Don't these talking monkeys know that
Eden has enough to go around?
Plenty in this holy garden, silly old monkeys,
Wonders when you're bound to divide it
Right in two
Angels on the sideline,
Baffled and confused.
Father blessed them all with reason.
And this is what they choose.
(and this is what they choose)
Monkey killing monkey killing monkey
Over pieces of the ground.
Silly monkeys given thumbs,
They forge a blade,
And brothers wonder
bound to divide it,
Right in two.
Right in two.
Monkey killing monkey killing monkey
Over pieces of the ground.
Silly monkeys give them thumbs,
They make a club
And beat their brother..down.
How they survive so misguided is a mystery.
Repugnant IS THE CREATURE WHO WOULD SQUANDER THE ABILITY TO LIFT AN EYE
TO HEAVEN CONSCIOUS OF THIS FLEETING TIME HERE
Cutting it all right in two (x4)
Fight over the clouds, over wind, over sky
Fight over life, over blood, over prayer, overhead and light
Fight over love, over sun, over another
Fight...
Angels on the sideline again
BEEN SO LONG WITH patience and reason
Angels on the sideline again
Wondering when this tug of war will end
Cutting it all right in two (x3)
Right in two
Right in two... "
-Tool 'Monkey Killing'
Monday, January 7, 2008
H4H
Other than the pertinent,what was on the mind last night :( .... I had a FANTASTIC EXPERIENCE this weekend. (As if there were any doubt!) Saturday morning I woke my sleepy self up and drove out to the Emerald Hollow Habitat for Humanity site.
It's a bit of a hike from where I am, but on a Saturday morning, it isn't that big a deal to go up 309 to Trumbaursville. I've worked on phase 1 a few times over the last few years, laying cinder block foundation, joist-ing floors, and putting up dry wall. This time was different. We spent all Saturday painting the entire interior of a house for a person I actually got to meet. Her name was Lee, she and her 4 kids (2 boys and twin girls) were moving into the house soon, and *gasp*! the carpet guys were coming TUESDAY!!! So the whole house needed to be painted, the kitchen needed it's cabinets installed, and we needed to scrape ALL the paint/Spackle off the floor.
This is the first time I've gotten to meet a "house buyer" and gotten to work with them, and putting a face with the house only make the whole day better! I LOVE volunteering for build days. With any luck I'll be able to do a bunch more, including women's build. :) I feel like I could easily make this a Saturday "thing", as it's really fulfilling. I'm still a bit sore in the shoulders area, but it's fading fast. I really can't wait to do it again. :D
It's a bit of a hike from where I am, but on a Saturday morning, it isn't that big a deal to go up 309 to Trumbaursville. I've worked on phase 1 a few times over the last few years, laying cinder block foundation, joist-ing floors, and putting up dry wall. This time was different. We spent all Saturday painting the entire interior of a house for a person I actually got to meet. Her name was Lee, she and her 4 kids (2 boys and twin girls) were moving into the house soon, and *gasp*! the carpet guys were coming TUESDAY!!! So the whole house needed to be painted, the kitchen needed it's cabinets installed, and we needed to scrape ALL the paint/Spackle off the floor.
This is the first time I've gotten to meet a "house buyer" and gotten to work with them, and putting a face with the house only make the whole day better! I LOVE volunteering for build days. With any luck I'll be able to do a bunch more, including women's build. :) I feel like I could easily make this a Saturday "thing", as it's really fulfilling. I'm still a bit sore in the shoulders area, but it's fading fast. I really can't wait to do it again. :D
Fears
I was getting ready for bed tonight, and I heard the dog running around the kitchen, with something scraping across the floor. Wondering why she would be running around with the leash I went downstairs to find my grandfather had fallen on the front step and gotten....well...stuck.
I knew things like this were a possibility when I moved in to "help him out". Essentially this is the epitome of why he can't live alone anymore. Only it's still frightening. The thought of him hurting himself means the thought that I'm his only help. And that frightens me even more.
I'm almost scared to go to work tomorrow...*sigh*
I knew things like this were a possibility when I moved in to "help him out". Essentially this is the epitome of why he can't live alone anymore. Only it's still frightening. The thought of him hurting himself means the thought that I'm his only help. And that frightens me even more.
I'm almost scared to go to work tomorrow...*sigh*
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