Saturday, August 18, 2007

really NOT midlife!

A really good opportunity has recently presented itself in New York. 1/2 of the "art department" here at CSNY have moved on to other networks and jobs. This leaves a BIG understaffed gap, one I am now filling. So, now my job requires me talking to a few "higher ups" putting me into "hire me full time" mode.

There's just one problem...I don't know that I really want to do this anymore. "Get in full time, and find something else." Was the advice from my dad. Sound and practical...there's just one problem...it's not just this...its ALL of THIS!

I started out animating, and I loved it! Now working at a tv station, (I haven't animated in MONTHS) I like working in the control room, or operating the camera. But I don't know that I won't get bored with that. And like any profession, it takes a lot to keep up with animation. (Not that I was ever very good to begin with) Both technique, and technology. I need to start reading quite a few magazines, religiously again, 3D World for one. Animation World Magazine for another.

And yet, there's this completely opposite part of me that thinks..."How hard is it to work on a farm?" .........ummm...what?????!!!!! Albeit unusual, I'd like to grow things....and use them.....or something. *blinks* yea...sure.

Other sound advice being, "you can't know what you like until you know what you don't like" My dad; again. And sure, it's constructive advice...but I feel like I don't really have the time to mess around "finding" myself and what really makes me happy. Why as soon as I graduated, and this whole plethora of possibiliites opened itself up to me, did I suddenly lose all that "potential" and "enthusiasm" steam? I know, I just answered my own question, but still...shouldn't that many possibilities make it easier for me to decide, and not harder??

1 comment:

Mikaela said...

Ugh.

There seems to be several recent studies and a book or two out there determining that our "many possibilities" actually hinder our happiness. From orange juice to health care to careers, we have too many choices, too many options. There are so many *things* from which to choose, that even after we've sorted through every seeming possibility, we doubt we've made the right decision. Either that, or we become so completely overwhelmed with information, that we just don't even make a move.

My attitude lately is to just pick something and make it happen. Easier said than done, I've realized, but it's starting to help. Because truly, I'll never *know* what the "right" choice is. And really... is there always just one right decision?

Try not to be hard on yourself. Whatever you decide, whenever you decide it, I'm sure it'll be "right." :)