Ok, I'll do it.

I haven't been in a great mood over the last few weeks. Not because of the break up, even in spite of the new job looming...I've been fighting a particular urge. It might be that pesky thing that doctor told me about that time. But something Rai said to me a few weeks ago made me reconsider the situation.
"If you need to cry, cry. Its good for you, don't choke it off. And if you ever do that denial shit in front of me again, I'm gonna smack you!"
So....I did. I just felt like crying, so I spent (feels like wasted) half an hour, and just let go. Only it just kept coming. I had to force composure when I started to hyper ventilate. This is why I don't give in to this urge.

I'm kind of back to square one now. Just waiting until this "feeling" goes away.